Entry #3: Dating

Dating is gross. There are just too many rules & exceptions. Don't get me wrong- I want to meet a man that I can be "happily ever after with" but honestly- the idea of starting from scratch again when something doesn't work out, TOTALLY turns me off. 

I mean... when is it too early to call or text him? Are YOU supposed to wait to hear from him? If you do- what if he thinks you aren't interested because you waited too long? At what point are you overbearing too soon or just right? I just cant understand or deal with any of this rationally. Which is part of many reasons why I have started this blog. To VENT. Rawr. 

Frustration of the day: 

So, great weekend with Mr. Grade School. He invited me out with his roommate and his roommates girlfriend to go see The Hangover 2 Monday night. Which was real fun, by the way.

I invited him over to my place on Tuesday night because he hasn't been there yet and has expressed an interest in coming over. So I went out on a limb and invited him... I got this response: "It's a possibility- Ill let ya know" .... I'M SORRY WHAT!?

"It's a possibility"?! Um no. I was for sure butt hurt. I mean... I went out on a limb here to invite this dude over because HE expressed an interest in seeing my place. Fine. Whatever. 

The next day- I didn't hear from him until 3PM. Ok. He works. Not a big deal. Whatever. 

(I understand that reading this from an outsiders perspective- you may want to say "You're crazy- get over it" and I whole-heartily agree with you.) Here's my deal: I over analyze everything. ALL THE TIME. I try to quit that shit. What really helps is venting it out and getting opinions from friends... My best friend says she's here to "take me away from the ledge". I thank her for that- haha. 

Apparently the reason I got a lame answer was because he was going to his parents house for dinner. Right on- family man. Like it. 

BUT WHY COULDN'T HE HAVE INCLUDED THAT IN HIS RESPONSE instead of leading me to think that he just maybe didn't want to hang out at all?! Ugh. People really just need to say what they REALLY mean. Seriously. I do. I risk being too blunt or too forward to speak the truth all the time. I expect the same from others. But again- whatever

SO THEN!.... He asks me later in the evening if I was still wanting to hang out... And I said yea. Although- I should have pretended I was busy and said "no". Whatever, again. Went over to his house and could totally tell he was exhausted. This is where my mind starts reeling again... "If he's so tired why did he invite me over?"..."Is it because he felt bad for not giving me a definitive answer earlier? Or is he genuinely interested in seeing me again? Or is he just bored and wanting company?"

See what I mean?! Can't shut my head up... seriously. 

We ended up watching another movie. Which is totally fine with me. On a weeknight sitting around and doing nothing doesn't bother me... hell- sometimes on the weekends it doesn't. 

He's got one couch in his living room and a chair. He lays on the couch while I sit at the edge... eventually he sits up and pulls me down so that I am laying on his chest. At that moment I think "He wouldn't have done this if he wasn't interested in me right? He woulda just let me sit there at the end of the couch...RIGHT?!" All is right in the world again. It was late when the movie was over. We laid there for a bit and then he says "Well I guess I better kick you out." 

Ugh. Fine. My issue is: I know it's late and we work tomorrow -but I really want to date someone who DOESN'T WANT TO "kick me out". :( Again... butt hurt. Someone please slap some sense into me! 

Sheeeeeesh!!! I'm a hot mess. No joke.) 

He had made a comment last night about his co-workers teasing him about his long hair and his scruffiness... 

They told him to tell me "God bless her for dating you!" 

Two things popped in my head... "You told them about me?!"

and then "Wait... WHAT did you tell them about me??"

He wouldn't have if he wasn't interested... RIGHT?! Here we go again... Goodness! 

So this morning I text him "Good morning! Have an awesome day! And remember to tell those co-workers of yours that I'm the lucky one!"............. God I'm so stupid. Here's the response I got "Good morning thanks you too"...... FML. 

So now... I will spend the rest of the day moping about this. OH! And not to mention- I'm trying to quit smoking. I really could use a cigarette right now though.... like- REALLY.